I've just gotten home from the end of term awards ceremony at Miss 12's school. And we are both just so proud of her and the effort she puts in.

The thing is I've also achieved a lot in the last 11 weeks, and I'd like to implement parent awards into our family end of term routine. The awards I deserve for Term Two are the following:

"I survived hosting a birthday party" award. Look, I've never run a marathon, made a life-changing medical discovery nor single-handedly saved the human race from an alien invasion, but two weeks ago we held a party to celebrate Miss 12, so I too know how to be brave in the face of terrifying adversity. I not only survived 13 screaming tweens for two and a half hours, but I also made small talk with five other parents. And to organise it I have to make not three, but four phone calls. Not all heroes wear capes, let me tell you.

"I have developed an auto-immune food allergy as an adult that has taken my beloved caramilk from me and I've only cried twice." So as a super-fun radiation side-effect, I'm now allergic to dairy. The great news is that I've stopped vomiting all day long, but it has been an adjustment. I do try to remind myself that a lot of people have it worse than me and I shouldn't be crying over chocolate and pizza, but I firmly believe I'm due for a break in my bad-luck streak. Special shout-out to the lovely Michaela who has answered the millions of questions I've had that seem to only be about ice cream or lasagne. Anti shout-out to dark chocolate which remains bitterly awful.

"One day this month I actually walked 10,000 steps, met my protein requirements and actively looked interested while listening to a very long and boring work story by my husband." This happened only once and was due to a car service, chicken breast salad for lunch and a pre-dinner prosecco. I shan't ever expect to achieve such greatness again until they invent protein wine.

"I accepted the loss of household teaspoons and bought more from Spotlight even though they don't match the set I have and it will annoy me every time I open the cutlery drawer." The baby books are so focused on telling you when they'll walk, talk and teethe, that you never learn the important facts. Such as: School hats disappear in Term One, teaspoons go in Term Two. Term Three is solid jumper loss and Term Four you will replace so many drink bottles that you will yell at them to just use the bubblers by October. I'm not too proud to admit that I miss environment-destroying plastic spoons.

"I'm still married somehow." I don't want anyone thinking that my husband is perfect, because he's not. But I fully accept that I'm growing more and more challenging every day. I never admit when I'm wrong, I'm either talking manically in his face or I'm demanding quiet time — there's never an in-between, and each and every night I get hot in bed and throw our doona on the floor. This cools my night sweats down perfectly, but he ends up shivering in a ball because I also don't allow the heater to be used. But still, we've made it through this term as an amazing team by reminding each other that we're not enemies. The children are our enemies.

"I showed up every day, despite it all." This is my proudest achievement. I hate small talk and social situations, but I was at the school for the assembly today for Miss 12. She beamed when she saw us. I haven't missed a single deadline at work. (This is such an astounding victory that I feel a pay rise chat is in order). I've been patient with Miss 17 and consistent in seeing friends. I've packed lunches, fed children vegetables and made it out the door every morning despite what life throws at us.

So maybe parents don't need actual awards, but every single one of us deserves a participation trophy. If you made it to the holidays mostly intact, then hats off to you. Enjoy the break xx