Sweet Smelling Poo

The saying is actually a bit different to that, but I’ll keep it clean.

I can’t watch any more free-to-air TV. I just can’t. I’m forcing myself to flick on the tele at 7am to catch the news, and again at 5 o’clock to see if there’s been a new development, an update, or unfortunately another tragedy either here or abroad. I’ve absolutely reached my limit when seeing the TV ‘news’ shows endlessly replaying memes, gifs, Tic Toc’s, viral videos and stuff they believe is funny – even though it’s just the same as what they showed yesterday. And the day before. I know we need a boost, because the light at the end of the tunnel is still very faint, but my tolerance and ability to appreciate watching videos of the way people are keeping themselves busy (as part of the so-called news) has gone.

Of course, we all love a celebrity, and it’s been refreshing to see some of our famous Aussie sportspeople and movie stars like magic basketballer Patty Mills, all-round good guy golfer Cameron Smith, pop sensation Troy Sivan and megastar Chris Hemsworth lending their names and pulling power to supporting and following correct procedures. I do find it a bit strange that many actually need the “well, if a famous person is doing it, then I’ll do it” edict before they’ll get on board.

I would never have thought that things would get so bad in our nation when it comes to people believing that their poo smells better than that of other people. Some members will just do whatever they want, whenever they want, damning the consequences and thumbing their noses at the experts, politicians and medical pros. Interesting to see that a NSW pollie thought his poo smelled so sweet that he’d just head up to his holiday house on the coast for a bit of r&r during the ‘stay home’ edict – not only that, but he’d duck down the M1 whenever he was needed for work too. Your voters will hopefully have long memories buddy – not only is the smell of your poo bad, but that noise you can hear is a bell clanging the end of your career.

Times are so tough that we’ve become a nation of dobbers. Tattling on your fellow man is not part of the modus operandi of the regular Aussie, because on the whole we’re not really a holier-than-thou bunch of people, but these aren’t regular times. In case you didn’t know, there’s actually a ‘dob in a bad guy’ hotline. How sad is it that things have come to that? From camping at the dam, to having parties with friends, to serving meals in restaurants, to getting together in the park for a big picnic, it appears that the only way to get the message across to some people is to dob them in, hitting them in the hip pocket.  With an average of more than 600 calls a day (that’s over 22000 calls over the past month) the hotline has had callers dobbing people in for breaking isolation, holding gatherings and breaching business guidelines. The average citizen patiently doing the right thing in isolation has had a gutful of the small pocket of the community with perceived sweet smelling poop.

1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32… that’s an example of how ‘exponential growth’ goes. There’s six numbers shown in that sequence there… wanna know what the 20th number is in that sequence? It’s 524 288 – scary, huh? Not scary enough to deter those with sweet smelling poo though. I guess a maths lesson isn’t going change the attitudes. Hey, ignorant, selfish, ill-informed and oblivious person, your poo doesn’t smell sweet – it stinks.